My life of late

Well, my hand is healing nicely. I still have another 3-6 months to expect full functionality with it. Today I’m noticing little lumps coming to the surface, I’m assuming that they’re bits of gravel from the crash. But overall the doctors are very pleased. I thank God for the doctors I had, and that I still have a finger, But I’m going insane only having 1 1\4 hands. It just eats on my nerves. I’ve been so discouraged lately, and also amazed at God’s mercy and love. I keep on messing up, and saying I’m going to do better, but then I just go back and do the same thing. It’s so aggravating that I’m so weak. I can’t even stop myself from doing something I know is wrong. The Scriptures say that if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us. I just feel so dirty and stupid still. I know God loves me, but I must confess I don’t think I live like I know. It’s like I know every thing in my brain, but when the rubber meets the road I fail. I know that the best place in the world is to be in the center of His will. Sometimes I even think about the fact that what I’m about to do is wrong, and then proceed to do it. Jesus says “If you love me keep my commandments”. I do love Him. It’s really true what Pastor Scott says our main problem is. “Just need to love Jesus more.” If I loved Jesus Christ the way I should, every thing else would fall into place. I guess I just keep on loving Him as best I can, and even if I fall along the way every step, He’ll keep picking me up and forgiving me in His perfect love. This has kind of helped just writing this all down, and calling scripture to mind. Pray for me that I’d love God more. I think one of the biggest reasons I’m struggling now is because while I was on vacation in Wyoming I got out of fellowship with God, in my daily walk with Him. Something I was challenged with at camp was to keep fueling the fire, or it will go out. Well, I let the embers cool off too much. I understand that it’s going to be hard to love someone you don’t know well, just like in any other relationship. I know that in my mind, but I can’t seem too remember how vital it is. I challenged a new-born believer at camp that the most important part of the Christian life is the time in devotions and prayer, and now here I am, 2 months later, watching TV when I could be studying God’s word, or at least talking to God. Well, pray for me, please. Hey and I would like to start a devotional guided book time deal, so if you know of any good one’s lemme know. For now I’m just taking Aaron Scott’s suggestion and reading through the Bible, cover to cover. Right now I’m in Geneses 25 I think, so I still have a long way to go. Well, I have to do my hand exercises now, so ttfn.

-AG